Unfortunately, we all do it. We judge others. Their actions, choices, behaviors, relationships, likes and dislikes and even their personalities. We’ve all been conditioned to judge and be critical of things around us (some of us more than others) and while this can be useful to look at ways to improve things by seeing what we do not like, it more often leads us to hurtful comments, disconnected relationships and various negative feelings. No one really likes to be judged and so eliminating this from your own actions will improve your life and relationships...
When we judge, we find fault, place blame or decide who is worthy and who is not. We decide what is right or wrong, good or bad based on our emotional reactions. The process of judging is focused on problems rather than solutions. At the root of judgment is fear--fear of losing something we have, fear of not getting something we want and fear of something we can't understand. However, when we use discernment to make decisions, we open ourselves to all possibilities, to new ways of looking at problems and people. As we discern, we welcome God into our decisions. Through discernment, we seek truth, not justification for our opinions and fears.
Don’t Judge Others...This is obviously easier said than done. It is possible to stop though with some practice, attention and a desire to eliminate it. The first step in not judging others is to simply stop voicing it. This is usually the hard part and if you can learn to keep judging comments to yourself, you can quickly eliminate any hurt you are causing to others directly. The old saying, "If you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything!" is timeless and should be exercized as we move forward as a even greater country!
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
I love the freedom of home business. Hanging out in Paradise Valley for a couple of days with our friend Gene Braxton. Life is Great! http://ping.fm/cljeL
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Start Enjoying EVERY Second!
I've drawn the conclusion that it is your days that define your life. In this blog, I want to challenge the common perception that it is only possible to enjoy your leisure time. In particular, I want to target people I personally know like "the professional" stuck in that 9 to 5 grind who longs for the weekend and, in the process, has given up on trying to find pleasure in the ordinary experiences we have every day. Here are some things that have helped me to start enjoy every SECOND!
1. Appreciate Beauty. Each day we come across beauty in a number of shapes and forms. It’s a shame, then, that many people have become so accustomed to this beauty that it largely goes unappreciated. I suggest looking again at the people, plants, gadgets, and buildings (to name but a few examples) around you and taking a moment to appreciate what makes them so special.
2. Connect With Nature. Nature is an amazing healer for the stresses and strains of modern life. Eating lunch in the park, attending to a vegetable garden in your backyard, or watching the sunset are just a few simple ideas for how you can enjoy the outdoors on a daily basis.
3. Laugh. E. E. Cummings once said “the most wasted of all days is one without laughter.” How very true. Never be too busy to laugh, or too serious to smile. Instead, surround yourself with fun people and don’t get caught up in your own sense of importance.
4. Have Simple Pleasures. A good cup of tea when I first wake-up. Time spent painting outside. Cooking a nice meal in the evening. These may not seem terribly exciting, but they are some of the simple pleasures I enjoy in life. If you slow down for just a moment and take the time to appreciate these ordinary events, life becomes instantly more enjoyable.
5. Connect With People. In so many ways, it is our relationships with people that give us the most happiness in life. Perhaps, then, the best way to enjoy your work more is not to get a raise or a promotion, but rather to build rewarding new relationships and enjoying the old ones to the fullest.
6. Learn. There is a strong link between learning and happiness. Given this, there is no excuse not to be stimulating your brain and learning something new each day. My favorite way to find time for learning is to make the most of the commute to and from work. Audiobooks and podcasts are great for this purpose.
7. Rethink Your Mornings and Evenings. Are the mornings a mad rush for you to get out the door? Do you switch off the TV at night and go straight to bed? I have personally experienced the profound benefits of establishing a routine in the morning and evening. For example, in the morning you may choose to wake an hour earlier and spend the time working on yourself, whether it be reading, writing or exercising. In the evening, consider spending some time just before bed reviewing your day or in meditation.
8. Celebrate Your Successes. During a normal day we are sure to have some minor successes. Perhaps you have successfully dealt with a difficult customer, made a sale, or received a nice compliment for your work. These aren’t events worth throwing a party for, but why not take a moment to celebrate your success? Share the experience with someone else, reward yourself with a nice lunch, or just give yourself a mental pat on the back. Trust me, your worth it!
1. Appreciate Beauty. Each day we come across beauty in a number of shapes and forms. It’s a shame, then, that many people have become so accustomed to this beauty that it largely goes unappreciated. I suggest looking again at the people, plants, gadgets, and buildings (to name but a few examples) around you and taking a moment to appreciate what makes them so special.
2. Connect With Nature. Nature is an amazing healer for the stresses and strains of modern life. Eating lunch in the park, attending to a vegetable garden in your backyard, or watching the sunset are just a few simple ideas for how you can enjoy the outdoors on a daily basis.
3. Laugh. E. E. Cummings once said “the most wasted of all days is one without laughter.” How very true. Never be too busy to laugh, or too serious to smile. Instead, surround yourself with fun people and don’t get caught up in your own sense of importance.
4. Have Simple Pleasures. A good cup of tea when I first wake-up. Time spent painting outside. Cooking a nice meal in the evening. These may not seem terribly exciting, but they are some of the simple pleasures I enjoy in life. If you slow down for just a moment and take the time to appreciate these ordinary events, life becomes instantly more enjoyable.
5. Connect With People. In so many ways, it is our relationships with people that give us the most happiness in life. Perhaps, then, the best way to enjoy your work more is not to get a raise or a promotion, but rather to build rewarding new relationships and enjoying the old ones to the fullest.
6. Learn. There is a strong link between learning and happiness. Given this, there is no excuse not to be stimulating your brain and learning something new each day. My favorite way to find time for learning is to make the most of the commute to and from work. Audiobooks and podcasts are great for this purpose.
7. Rethink Your Mornings and Evenings. Are the mornings a mad rush for you to get out the door? Do you switch off the TV at night and go straight to bed? I have personally experienced the profound benefits of establishing a routine in the morning and evening. For example, in the morning you may choose to wake an hour earlier and spend the time working on yourself, whether it be reading, writing or exercising. In the evening, consider spending some time just before bed reviewing your day or in meditation.
8. Celebrate Your Successes. During a normal day we are sure to have some minor successes. Perhaps you have successfully dealt with a difficult customer, made a sale, or received a nice compliment for your work. These aren’t events worth throwing a party for, but why not take a moment to celebrate your success? Share the experience with someone else, reward yourself with a nice lunch, or just give yourself a mental pat on the back. Trust me, your worth it!
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Thursday, June 11, 2009
The Importance of Communication...
Sometimes we take the most important things in life for granted and do not realize its importance until it is too late. Many of us take our relationships for granted and move on until one fine day we wake up to realize, we don't have the connection any more.
This can often times lead to breakups or simply just uncomfortable relationships. Suddenly we realize something is wrong in the way things are going. A friend of mines just went through a very sad breakup and has not been the same person any more. This sad experience lead me to realize the most important thing in life is your relationships.
Maintaining a good relationship is part of living healthy. Your communication skills are important to maintaining those relationships that help you be healthy. How do you communicate? How often do you communicate? Do you initiate conversation?
The people we interact with on a regular basis see you at your best and at your worst. You probably want a healthy overflow of those best moments. Communicating wisely and effectively can help you.
No one likes to be offended and no one likes to be insulted. These are common sense statements, but it is amazing how often this is ignored. The usage of profanities in any conversation can be taken as insults at anytime. One of the best ways to avoid this mistake is to make a conscious choice to not use profanity.
Insults can come in two forms, words and/or gestures. You can avoid a lot of problems by thinking before you speak. Choosing your words before sharing them may be all you need to bring a smile to someone’s face rather than a frown.
Think about how you communicate. Sometimes the way you say something can mean the exact opposite of what you intended. Think about the message your body communicates to others.
Crossing your arms can send the message that you don’t care or you can’t be bothered with the message being communicated to you.
And when was the last time you initiated contact with your friends and family? Do you call and share your thoughts and concerns? Sometimes it's up to us to make the contact and this is a healthy way of communicating to others that you care about them. Take the initiative to say that you care. Trust me, it will take you a very long way!
This can often times lead to breakups or simply just uncomfortable relationships. Suddenly we realize something is wrong in the way things are going. A friend of mines just went through a very sad breakup and has not been the same person any more. This sad experience lead me to realize the most important thing in life is your relationships.
Maintaining a good relationship is part of living healthy. Your communication skills are important to maintaining those relationships that help you be healthy. How do you communicate? How often do you communicate? Do you initiate conversation?
The people we interact with on a regular basis see you at your best and at your worst. You probably want a healthy overflow of those best moments. Communicating wisely and effectively can help you.
No one likes to be offended and no one likes to be insulted. These are common sense statements, but it is amazing how often this is ignored. The usage of profanities in any conversation can be taken as insults at anytime. One of the best ways to avoid this mistake is to make a conscious choice to not use profanity.
Insults can come in two forms, words and/or gestures. You can avoid a lot of problems by thinking before you speak. Choosing your words before sharing them may be all you need to bring a smile to someone’s face rather than a frown.
Think about how you communicate. Sometimes the way you say something can mean the exact opposite of what you intended. Think about the message your body communicates to others.
Crossing your arms can send the message that you don’t care or you can’t be bothered with the message being communicated to you.
And when was the last time you initiated contact with your friends and family? Do you call and share your thoughts and concerns? Sometimes it's up to us to make the contact and this is a healthy way of communicating to others that you care about them. Take the initiative to say that you care. Trust me, it will take you a very long way!
Wednesday, June 03, 2009
Your "Sixth" Sense
Many believe that we all have the “Sixth Sense” capability. “Second Sight” as some call it, does tend to come more naturally to some than others. We often don’t want to recognize the messages and feelings that we have as our “Sixth Sense”. Perhaps it is a case of trusting the messages you receive, trusting your Inner Guide. Your Inner Guide is a part of that “Sixth Sense”. It is your intuition. We all want to find peace in our lives. Part of that finding of peace with in ourselves comes from trusting our Inner Guide, and the higher power that you believe in to lead you down the right path.
Often our Ego fights that Inner Guide. The Heart, Soul and intuition lead you in one direction, and your Ego leads you in another. Your Ego tells you that you’re not good enough. “I am not worthy of this relationship”, “ I am not worthy of this job”, “I will fail”, “I am unlovable”, “I don’t know how to love”. Those are all messages that your ego sends. Those are not the messages to heed. Your ego would have you fail, misery loves company.
I come from the frame of mind that there is nothing that I can’t do. And while I know that it is not always easy to keep the faith, when you set yourself on the course to achieving all you set out to do it takes dedication, strength and will power to carry you through. Look at any successful person and see that they are driven by that same force that tells them that they can do what ever they set up out do.
It can be easy sometimes, to follow the Ego down the Wrong Road. That is not to say, we have followed the wrong path or voice, because we are entitled to change our minds and our paths, and recognize when the reasoning for that change is correct. But one thing I have come to realize is that the first message you receive is usually the right message to heed. If first message you receive is positive, follow it. But, trust also if that first message you receive is negative, that you need to back off, stay away. When you hear that something is not good for you, pay attention. Your Inner Guide is there, not only to lead down the right paths, but also to warn you off the wrong paths and the pitfalls they may be hiding.
Nothing comes easy, peace of mind, especially. But, the longer you strive for it, the more common place it becomes. Being at peace, being happy - Is Your Choice. You may choose to be miserable, or you may choose to be happy. But I will tell you first hand - -It is amazing the transformation that comes when you choose Happy!
Often our Ego fights that Inner Guide. The Heart, Soul and intuition lead you in one direction, and your Ego leads you in another. Your Ego tells you that you’re not good enough. “I am not worthy of this relationship”, “ I am not worthy of this job”, “I will fail”, “I am unlovable”, “I don’t know how to love”. Those are all messages that your ego sends. Those are not the messages to heed. Your ego would have you fail, misery loves company.
I come from the frame of mind that there is nothing that I can’t do. And while I know that it is not always easy to keep the faith, when you set yourself on the course to achieving all you set out to do it takes dedication, strength and will power to carry you through. Look at any successful person and see that they are driven by that same force that tells them that they can do what ever they set up out do.
It can be easy sometimes, to follow the Ego down the Wrong Road. That is not to say, we have followed the wrong path or voice, because we are entitled to change our minds and our paths, and recognize when the reasoning for that change is correct. But one thing I have come to realize is that the first message you receive is usually the right message to heed. If first message you receive is positive, follow it. But, trust also if that first message you receive is negative, that you need to back off, stay away. When you hear that something is not good for you, pay attention. Your Inner Guide is there, not only to lead down the right paths, but also to warn you off the wrong paths and the pitfalls they may be hiding.
Nothing comes easy, peace of mind, especially. But, the longer you strive for it, the more common place it becomes. Being at peace, being happy - Is Your Choice. You may choose to be miserable, or you may choose to be happy. But I will tell you first hand - -It is amazing the transformation that comes when you choose Happy!
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